Give InKind is pleased to feature Alex Alexander, speaking on the importance of human connection–both in community and in asking for help.
Hi! I’m Alex Alexander, host of the Friendship IRL podcast, and through my work, I’ve talked to a lot of people about friendship and community.
One truth that repeatedly surfaces in these conversations and feels especially relevant right now – We often hesitate to let others show up for us.
Which is wild because while we eagerly want to help loved ones in crisis, when someone offers to help us, we often respond with “I’m fine" or “You don’t need to go to all that trouble."
First of all, it’s a gut reaction that we need to rewire. But on a deeper level, I think when someone refuses help they believe they are being kind by protecting their friends’ time and energy for something “more important."
But I’d argue that what they’re really doing is denying their friends something fundamental: the opportunity to feel connected and be reminded that we aren’t alone in this world.
This natural desire to help is especially visible during crises. As I write this, the wildfires in Los Angeles are still threatening homes and displacing families. Yet even before the fires are contained, we’re seeing a powerful reminder of people’s innate desire to help. There are endless examples of people opening their homes to strangers, coordinating clothing donations, and delivering meals to evacuation centers. It’s beautiful… and it’s natural.
People want to help.
I witnessed this same spirit when friends of mine spent nine months of 2023 with their baby in the NICU. From the start, their community wanted to do everything they could (myself included!). I kept hearing the same sentiment over and over again – “Nothing feels like enough." We all desperately wanted to help, connect, and make their burden slightly lighter.
Looking back on my friends’ NICU journey, I wish I had better understood Give InKind’s potential. It would have been the perfect tool – not just for coordinating support, but for making it easier for my friends to accept help. Because that’s what Give InKind does so beautifully – it creates a space where asking for and offering help feels natural, where supporting each other can be seamlessly woven into our daily rhythm.
So the next time you’re worried about asking for help, when those thoughts of “it’s too much" or “people have better things to do" creep in, remember this: by letting people show up for you, you’re giving them a gift. You’re offering them the chance to feel connected to something bigger than themselves and fulfill that human desire to help. There’s evidence all around us that people want this connection – we just have to be brave enough to let them in.
If you’re still hesitant about asking for or accepting help, here are some stories that might change your perspective. Start with Friendship IRL Episode 35: “How to Show Up for People in Your Life Who Are Grieving," to hear Suzanne’s story of losing her son and how her community rallied around her. Or tune into Episode 110: “You Say You Want a Village… But Do You?" to reframe your beliefs about the power of letting people show up for you.
Give InKind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We have an affiliate relationship with many of the advertisers on our site, and may receive a commission from any products purchased from links in this article. See Terms & Conditions.